Sainté - I'm Sorry

★ verse 1: da saint ★
I'm sorry, but i gotta choose me
I gotta put myself first and try to plant these seeds
Reading an autopsy for my feelings as we speak
Been with snakes so much that i've learned to shed my skin
This is me trying to heal
Conceptualizing my insecurities on this beat
Smiling while they pray on my fall like varsity fees
I gotta kneel more for wisdom and life from the tree
I'm beginning to view the world for what it truly is
A hate-infested place, filled with envy and greed
My only sense of hope comes from the books i read
Contradicting as me and my dreams arе playing hide-and-seek
Mama used to say "you can be who you wanna bе"
Never really told me what it takes to be a king
Drowning in my thoughts, big enough to fill the sea
"the way of the superior man" is at the core of how i think
I'm sorry, but i gotta choose me

★ interlude: adam sandler ★
I love this game, i live this game
There's a thousand other guys waiting in the wings who are obsessed with this game
Obsession’s gonna beat talent every time
You got all the talent in the world, but are you obsessed

★ verse 2: da saint ★
Eish, ngyaxolisa, but i gotta choose me
I've seen the worst from soldiers who were with me in the field
Fought together then they turn around and shoot to kill
Now they telling me “we going far", but really, who's "we"
Ngyaxolisa, but i gotta choose me
I have to cut you off if i really wanna succeed
Premonitions of my demise whenever i think
I've already had a peek of the casket waiting for me
Uh, this is me trying to heal
Would you even cope if you felt the way that i feel
Overthinking every misunderstanding i see
They will help you try to pick the lock while they hiding the key
So many times, i had to kneel
So many times, i contemplated death so i don't feel
So many times, i had to wear a smile against my will
And so many times i wish i could ask god for an appeal
Ngyaxolisa

★ poem: momentous ★
My biggest fear is retiring broke
Ngife ngingena fokol even though i always label myself as an artist of note
Heee, kuba yindvodza akukho lula and ndvodza muntu uyakhula
Impandla hlezi itinika mandla, geen nyuku geen dladla
Tintsanga takho tiphumelele, some of them they be living i-soft life le boma suburbs
Living a better life got a kid and a wife, wena usele udlobeselesele
Likhona likhona, mathuba akhona
Yekela likhona noku khononda ukhone kutentela
Nowadays lodla indlala uyatenta
Wena uyatenta labanye badla ma tender
Call me i-sell out mei outy angisibhayi
Now vision will monitor my actions i'm on a quest for financial evolution, hence i'm crafting resolutions
Not for a new year but for likusasa lekufanele lichakate tsotsi
Ungabese uyatingabata, invest on payday
Don’t get me wrong mei outy, i am still real, but i’m keeping it real to myself this time around
Ngoba bantu abakhatsalelwa kuthenjwa, kugcwele tigubhu tika poison langaphandle
I'm done complaining le gravy train ngiyayi gova
Noma kunesi ghada nobhova, ngenkani ngiyayi reya
Yemagenge besisonkhe but now usually nginokushaya isilolo
Heading for a better tomorrow, kufuneka isjwevo clever
They say knowledge is key, but i say money is power forever