Austin Lounge Lizards - Merchants' Lunch
I was hungry (Had an eye out for a swell cafe)
I was searchin' (He was sounding for a bite to munch)
I found a spot (He took a table at the Merchants Lunch)
Oh the Merchants' Lunch, it was an ocean of gloom
It looked like half-past midnight in the afternoon
Down by the bar (A rat-faced manager was pouring suds)
For the boys (Trailways cowboys in their Good Will duds)
And the girls (A pride of peddle-pushing pinball queens)
Chewing gum (In sweaty combat at the Wizard machines)
But the queen of them all, looking big as a fort
Was Broadway Brenda and her derelict court
I ordered a blue plate spеcial and peered out through the room
Just to see what class of citizens inhabitеd this gloom
And the hapless visages I saw were innocent of cheer
Though mirthless laughter filled the air inspired by wine and beer
From these helpless accidents of Fortune's careless aim
Broadway Brenda rose upon her queen-sized six-foot frame
I turned away to shun her eyes but I knew it was too late
A hand fell on my shoulder as my gaze fell on my plate
I looked her up and over (And she did the same to me)
Her teeth were green (As green as garden peas)
She shaped her hair (With dishpan fingertips)
An earthquake of excitement (Shook her Krakatoan hips)
Her hands went to her bosom, a hush fell on the crew
An acre of Brenda lay exposed to view
These fevered words she whispered (As he gazed upon the scene):
"It's the custom here at Merchants' Lunch (To entertain the queen)"
I grabbed my hat (And in an instant he was on his feet)
I was sober as a judge (Down at the county seat)
He kept his diesel up to 80 way past Baton Rouge
Made it back to Beaumont for the "Evening News"
(He owned a wide-load rig) I paid thousands in tax
(He's gonna keep it it Texas) — I ain't leaving for snacks
(He's a driving fool) The interstate belongs to me
But I'm never going back (Into the state of Tennessee)
Oh the Merchants' Lunch, it was an ocean of gloom
It looked like half-past midnight in the afternoon
Song Description:
edit soundcloudThe lyrics paint a vivid picture of the strange and somewhat comical scene at the Merchants' Lunch, with descriptions of mismatched patrons, questionable decor, and the imposing presence of Broadway Brenda. The song captures the essence of a peculiar and unforgettable dining experience in a place where time seems to stand still.
As the man eventually makes his escape from the diner, he reflects on the surreal encounter and the bizarre events that unfolded during his brief visit. The song is filled with humor, wit, and a touch of absurdity, making it a memorable and entertaining tale of an unexpected lunchtime adventure.
SoundCloud:
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