Juanzilla - The Struggle

★ Juanzilla ★
Whats the struggle that you feel
What are the feelings that ponder
I go through many struggles
That i still don't understand
You have to be the big brother
Be that role model
Be that big man you want to be
But then it gets hard
Then it gets complicated
When i throw drugs in the mix
That big man you want to be
Is now laid out talking gibberish
The feeling is crushing, to you and your family
You make them worry
Make them feel like your gonna die
You struggle with depression
At the same time
You really can't explain it
To the people who try to help you
Your batting demons
That want to control you

I got war scars on me
From my battle with my mental health
I get mad at my parents
Just because they try to help
I can't help my brother
I know i need to change
But i don't know how to change my life
I laugh and i clown
But i really hurt inside
The struggle with addiction, and my mind
The struggle with fiends
Trying to pose as friends
The struggle with a diss battle
That never seems to end
You read and hear these things
And hope that he does not fall in
I got the struggle man
And i went to rehab to fix it
I'll tell you all my past problems
Cause i fixed it
Struggled with addiction
Manipulated friends
Peer pressured other friends
To do the same things i'm in
What else should I say ?
That I was once gay ?
I had some experiences
I'm not ashamed to say

Ya see some people
Have not accepted
The struggles that they face
And that's why they still deal
With their problems everyday
I know that i have problems
And so do all of yall
Let's work through them, One at a time
The struggle may be real
But the struggle is also in our mind
The struggle can addiction
The struggle can be with family
The struggle can be with that person
That just doesn't understand
That's the struggle yall
And I got it let's keep it real
I can't get by it
These problems are concurrent, just like a bill
My clinical depression might not ever heal
But i got skills, thats i can use to keep me chill
My brain is stronger as i grew up
Learning from my actions now
Im obtaining more knowledge
Learning day by day, to keep me at my sharpest
Learning new skills and trades
Restoring my connections with my family
Im solving my struggles, and i'm learning in the process