Phone: I just took you to school! Who blew up the audience? Who's time is coming ne-
Baldi: *pauses video* Wow! that was terrible! *phone rings* "terrible rap battles of comic sans!" Hello? who is this? uh, hello? "baldi!" That's me! "versus!" Hmm... "ghostface!" Oh, god damn it! "begin!" Ghostface: You've entered a horror film you're not skipping with a dead meat vid Wait til' i crack you open, boil some dinner on that egghead, kid School's out, but there's still rules to follow with the pen & paper Or your ass is dropping fast like baldi's really in the elevator
First of all, you gotta reference hip-hop shit I'm ghostface killah on the mic while that bald head is more logic Next, a creepy guy targeting kids is just asking for a pedophile line I should call the cops on you, but like your patron perks they wouldn't get here in time (heh!)
Can you guess which battle that's from? (who knows?) I wouldn't be shocked if you blundered When every damn rap battle channel has whored you out like you're sidney prescott's fucking mother!
Now finally - hey! are you even listening? ah, just forget it How about i call you back when basically games gets good reception
Baldi (verse 1): Oh, hi there, buddy, i'm baldi With beats i'm a modern vivaldi So don't run in my halls, if you tried you'd slippin Drop the pog face mask and you'd still be trippin
I rock the school house, you belt about how your girl won't let you bang her like it's sidney's soap opera house I got twelve inches of wood to show to your girl, so baldi says put deez balls in your mouth! Mtv set the scene for a crime scene From duo of whiny teens to produced by the weinsteins You're the most obnoxious voice i've faced from a payphone Not scared of a craven stan's radio gameshow
Taking ls to one girl, you can't kill the beat With that drip the only mystery you're giving me is 'trick or treat' With all the cheating in your mom and dad's marriage Can't tell what gets used more, that mask or your parents
I thought you were meant to make fun of tropes in horror films, man But with that reboot you should've learned to get out while you're still canned!
Ghostface (conversationally): Ooh, a part where baldi yells. what's next, a fucking dream reference? Guess i shouldn't be surprised when you peaked battling the slender Bitch
Baldi (conversationally): Oh, just shut it, loomis
Ghostface (conversationally): Oh, you still think it's that type of ghostface battle? Nice hypothesis, but billy's not quite at the phone right now... *takes off his mask* Say hello to stu macher, bitch! Stu macher: Stick to teaching kids two + two When it's you + stu, i split tutors in two You'll never chalk up to me Thought you'd spit better, looking like you're on a cd Fuck caps, popping sodas takes you off of the scene
The name is macher, you're a damn mockery I'll birthday bash your face in, show you how i handle a party Want beef? oh please, just flee from me Or i'll wipe the floor with ya, that's a sweep, sweep, sweep!
Billy loomis (conversationally): Stewie, what the hell are you doing?
Stu macher (conversationally): I'm making sure this freak doesn't escape like he's dewey!
Billy loomis (conversationally): Just stick to the plan Dude, you forgot to ask him if he liked scary movies!
Stu macher (conversationally): Fuck!
Billy loomis (conversationally): You're making the battle longer With someone like him, what else are we gonna say?
Stu macher (conversationally): I'm sorry...
Billy loomis (conversationally): Now we have nothing!
Stu macher (conversationally): I know, it's like you on mother's day!
Billy loomis: What? okay, fuck you stu, i brought us to the top of the box office Only big screen you smash is when it falls on your face for a shock of a plot twist
Stu macher: Your bargain bin plots are thin & your legacy's lost its relevance You're acting's more dead than your family So this 'ghost's face' is taking the l in this!
Baldi: (hatefully stares at the two while breathing heavily as they argue)
Billy loomis (conversationally): Oh, fuck, behind you!
Baldi (conversationally): I'm going to shove this ruler up your fucking ass! (knocks out billy with one ruler swipe)
Billy loomis (conversationally): Oh, fuck, he's gonna start screaming!
Baldi: Leave schooling to the pros No field trip but i kill with roasts With the campiness you bring I'm lighting fire to your woodsboro
Got capped by a reporter When the smoke started to settle Didn't get a shiny quarter But still earned yourself some metal
You got mad 'cause your balls are sore Tryna leave the dog house so bad You'd get stuck in the doggy door
Prepare for cremating When you peep onto campus Not talking a scream painting But you'll be on the canvas!
Well, that concludes our lesson Hope we meet again, but Call you the school bus You'll stop moving once you're seeing red! Heheheeh!
Announcer: Who wooon? Who's neeeext? We deciiiide Terrible rap battles of- ah!
Snakebite126 - Bruno Madrigal vs Donnie Darko {Intro: Snakebite126 as Announcer and Bruno Madrigal} SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES DONNIE DARKO VS BRUNO MADRIGAL (I can do this. I can do this!) BEGIN!
Snakebite126 - Sheldon Cooper vs Alexander Hamilton Terrible rap battles of comic sans Sheldon cooper Versus Alexander hamilton Begin Sheldon: Im sheldon cooper, im a super dooper trooper 'bout to beat this
Snakebite126 - Franklin D. Roosevelt vs Jerry Seinfeld {Intro} Uh, okay, so this is, like, a very last minute decision, I just kinda was like, "yo, what if I did FDR vs Jerry Seinfeld", so this is all- I don't know how I got
Snakebite126 - Regina George vs J. Edgar Hoover {Intro} Snakebite Rap Battles Regina George vs J. Edgar Hoover Begin! {Verse 1 - Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, Karen Smith} Oh, me first? I'm
Snakebite126 - Jacket vs The Batter {Intro: SnakeBite126} Snakebite Rap Battles Jacket Versus The Batter Begin! {Verse 1: Jacket (Alex M.)} Name's Jacket, don’t get it
Snakebite126 - Mat4yo vs Shrek {Intro} Quarter Ass Rap Battle Parodies! Mat4yo VS Shrek Begin! {Mat4yo} I dig into your layers And I show you how to fear
Snakebite126 - Wave of Success If you would, please vitreous humor me and avert your retinas to me for a second Allow me to be the focal point of your attention as i’m about to teach you a lesson Transmitting an original
Snakebite126 - RiceGum vs Quagmire Ricegum vs quagmire lyrics{quagmire}: Ooh, giggity giggity I keep it so smooth, hippity hippity I go and make a move, get digitty digitties Then swim in girl’s boobs,
Benjamin, better known online as Snakebite126 or Benny, is the main writer of Epic Rap Battle Parodies, video actor, rapper, and editor who joined the Epic Rap Battle Parodies crew in mid-2020. He is the creator of his own series of rap battles titled Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans, which is mostly jocular, while also somewhat serious.