Railroad Jerk - The Ballad of Railroad Jerk

Come gather 'round, friends, from all ends of the earth
And I'll give you the dirt for what it's worth
They said it wouldn't work
No, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk

There was a lot of fast talk on the slow track, man
And my baby, she left and she never came back
We got a ten million dollar record contract
Then I swear I nearly had a heart attack
Well, the wind was blowing from the north to the south
And we caught 'em talking out of both sides of their mouth
From the corporate heads down to the missus uptown
I triеd to get all the big shots to calm down
You know, genius only comеs to a chosen few
And we are no exception
Raised on television

Hello, Tuesday
Goodbye, Monday
Right, yeah
Yeah, all right

Well, they said it wouldn't work
They said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
Yeah, hellfire and brimstone
My mind is on the grindstone
I got myself ready for the shit to hit the wall
And the tenth annual top ten video masquerade ball
I put on my slouch hat, my boots, and my sack dress
Some rouge and some lipstick and some polish for practice
I pushed my old handtruck down the old dirt road
I may have been complete, but I was not sold
They said play "Glamorous Bitch" one more time
My friends all have credit cards, but I have been denied
Then I heard them singing beneath the pale sky
They sang "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"

You can't scare me
I'm half crazy
Right, c'mon
Yeah

Well, they said it wouldn't work
No, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk

When the loser went AWOL, we took him off the payroll
We lowered him down to the tune of a drumroll
We wiped away the plate, we took away the slate
We thought we were solid up on top of the hill
But we found out it was really only landfill
All right
So when the bars all close and the subways are cracking
The party that you went to just wasn't really happening
The lights are dim, the shades are drawn
The national anthem on TV just went on
And you find that the blind are just killing the blind
And you don't want to be one of those kind
Well, don't despair because they said it wouldn't work
(Hello, Tuesday)
With that look on their face and that smirk, smirk
(Goodbye, Monday)
Yeah, but that's what they told us, but I knew it would work
(You can't scare me)
And you can find my name on the tail of my shirt
(I'm half crazy)

This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk
This is the ballad of Railroad Jerk