Momus - Righthand Heart

Walking down the hall feeling like a jerk
So detached it hurts

I meet this girl with a righthand heart
I notice nothing until we start to kiss
And my hand goes beneath her dress
To the lefthand breast

Downstairs the party’s going full swing
The people we came with haven’t noticed a thing
And as I tease the teat with my teeth
I feel nothing underneath

She moves my head across her chest
Puts my ear against the righthand breast
Sure enough her heart is there
Loud and clear

Beat, beating, beating on
The right side of oblivion
Beat, beating, beating on
The wrong side of her body

And though I know there’s nothing dangerous in it
I’m feeling queasy, getting worse by the minute
Wondering how to escape this nightmare
When up the stair
Comes this boy with no heart at all
Him and her they make the perfect couple
Him so blind in his rapacity
That he doesn’t even see it

Beat, beating, beating on

I was lying on the bed when the lights went out
And the butcher climbed in with the meat hanging out
He had a polyester suit, the guy was a dude
He dressed like a lawyer but he sexed real good
400 push-ups, straight as a rod
Grimacing in the pillow with a face like a dog
He’s wagging his tail, she opens her legs
The little cocker spaniel gets up and begs

Nick nack heart attack, give the dog a bone
Knees up, who’s up Old Mother Brown?
Rubber boy, bovver boy, my son John
Kills all the Judys with his big hard on
Pop goes the weasel, bang goes the deal
Punch went to market to club a few seals
Cat got the baby, Judy fell apart
This little piggy had a righthand heart

And as I contemplate this mating of rapacity and sickness
Of which I am the fascinated, unwilling witness
I see he couldn’t care where her heart might be
And I say "what the hell is wrong with me?
Am I just too pure and too proud?"
And as the bed creaks I ask myself aloud
"Could it be that what makes me a freak
Is my contempt for freaks?"

I start to sweat, I feel it approach
Familiar self-hate, familiar self-reproach
And deep inside it beats so hard
My righthand heart

Beat, beating, beating on
The right side of oblivion
Beat, beating, beating on
The wrong side of my body

Beat, beating, beating on
The right side of oblivion
Beat, beating, beating on

Nicholas “Nick” Currie (born 11 February 1960), more popularly known under the artist name Momus (after the Greek god of mockery), is a Scottish songwriter, author, blogger and former journalist for Wired.
For over thirty years he has been releasing, to marginal commercial and critical success, albums on labels in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Japan.
Momus began by recording post-punk material with ex-members of Josef K in a group called The Happy Family in the early 1980s and was associated with the musicians around Postcard Records (although he never recorded for that label). His debut solo album Circus Maximus (1986, él records) explored biblical themes in dark, almost Gothic acoustic style. His debt to the influence of Gallic pop was clear from a subsequent, sardonically self-referencing cover of Jacques Brel’s “Jacky”.
In 1987, when he lived in London, he signed to Creation Records and began to record the hyper-literate, quirky pop songs for which he is best known. A trio of albums, The Poison Boyfriend, Tender Pervert and Don’t Stop The Night, blended accessible dance-pop with such heavy lyrical themes as paedophilia, necrophilia and adultery. The latter album almost yielded a hit in the UK with “The Hairstyle of the Devil” which peaked at No. 94 in the UK Singles Charts in May 1989, and was a local hit in San Francisco, reaching #32 on a year-end list from SF’s KITS Live 105 radio station. Subsequent albums on Creation included Hippopotamomus, a scatological tribute to Gainsbourg, as Momus continued to push boundaries of acceptability within accessible pop structures.
By 1994, however, when Creation signed Oasis, his music began to seem wildly out of place compared to the newer, more ‘laddish’ and commercial sounds Creation started to produce. He moved to Paris and signed to Cherry Red Records. Since then he has lived in other countries and, while less popular in Britain, has had a reasonable level of commercial success, especially in Japan, where he wrote and produced records for successful singer Kahimi Karie, including the hit single “Good Morning World”, which was originally written as for a cosmetics advert.
He has been sued twice. The first time was from Michelin UK, for the song “Michelin Man”, which compared the mascot to a blow-up doll, on Hippopotamomus (1991).
He was sued by Wendy Carlos for the song “Walter Carlos” (which postulated that the post-sexual reassignment surgery Wendy could travel back in time to marry her pre-surgery self, Walter) on The Little Red Songbook (1998). The case was settled out of court for a fee of $30,000, withdrawal of the song, agreement not to use Carlos' name for any purpose, and payment of damages and attorney’s fees to Carlos. To pay off the debt, Momus wrote 30 songs, one about each person or group who commissioned a song for $1,000, compiling Stars Forever (1999). Patrons included artist Jeff Koons and Japanese musician Cornelius. Stars Forever also features the winners of a karaoke contest started on The Little Red Songbook (1998).
He has continued to regularly release Momus albums.
In the last two decades, Momus has lived in London, Paris, Tokyo, New York and Berlin. He has made Osaka his home since 2010.
In December 1997, he contracted acanthamoeba keratitis in his right eye due to a contact lens mishap sustained whilst on holiday in Greece, causing loss of vision on that side. Although his sight subsequently improved following surgery he has suffered lingering effects from the infection since, causing him to often be photographed in an eyepatch, very dark glasses, or squinting.,