Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Read All About It

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BEATRIX
Extra, extra, read all about it!

BEATRIX/VINCENT
‘Golden Boy and Friends Found Dead’

VINCENT
‘In Apparent
(spoken)
Suicide Pact?’ huh
STUDENTS/BEATRIX
Read all about it!
A terrible shame
Nobody to blame
But himself
Read all about it!
All the facts you desire
No need to inquire
Somewhere else

A tragedy that happened to happen right here
But please respect the privacy of those he held dear
And don’t look for answers
You can’t control
Just read all about it!
And pray for his soul


QUINCY
I always thought he had it all
Why would hе do this?

STUDENTS
I always thought of anyone
Those boys could get through this!
Hе always seemed so happy and so well-adjusted
But cavalier appearances just can’t be trusted
Guess that goes to show
You can never know!
Read all about it-
Or the rumors will grow
ROSWELL
(spoken)
Knock, knock! How’s my favorite section holding up?

PORTIA
(spoken)
Just fine, Head Editor Roswell!

ROSWELL
(to BEATRIX)
Aw, isn’t she darling?

BEATRIX
(spoken)
Roswell, what do you want?

ROSWELL
(spoken)
The Ambrose Bassford story! There’ll be more to it, I’m sure- people have already started to talk. I want to have someone permanently on the case
I like your attitude, Portia. Do a good enough job and you might even get a real desk!

PORTIA
(spoken)
Oh! Thank you, Head Editor Roswell!

ROSWELL
(spoken)
Don’t mention it
PORTIA
Read all about it!
Something’s not right
A terrible fight
In the gym!
Read all about it!
A figure in green
Fleeing the scene
After him!

PORTIA/STUDENTS
There’s got to be something they aren’t telling us
Since when has a suicide caused such a fuss?

BEATRIX
A dangerous question
That nobody asked

STUDENTS
Read all about it!

ROSWELL
And don’t give up too fast

BEATRIX
I never thought he’d do it
Is it too late to care?

VINCENT
Does the administration like it
Or are they not aware?

VINCENT/BEATRIX
It’s not an easy deed for someone to ignore
Uncovering the murderer could help me more

VINCENT
But it’s only the first

BEATRIX
And it can’t be reversed

VINCENT/BEATRIX
Read all about it!
Keep your deflections rehearsed

THE ADMINISTRATION/BEATRIX
Ardess University would like to extend its thoughts and prayers to the families of ambrose bassford, preston monterey, and adrian farthington in this difficult time. Mental health is very important to us, and we hope that the actions of a few deeply troubled and hurting students will not be taken to reflect upon the majority of our highly successful, intelligent, and responsible class
(slowly being drowned out by the music)
As a reminder, if you or someone you know appears to be contemplating suicide

STUDENTS
A word to the wise:
It’s impolite to discuss
When you slip-up or fail, that means you weren’t one of us
A word to the wise:
Your actions betrayed it
You were destined for failure, getting help just delayed it
So if you get depressed
Or your despair starts to grow
A word to the wise:
No one else needs to know

THE ADMINISTRATION/BEATRIX
Please reach out to psychological health and speak with a counselor, or contact the police in an emergency situation. We encourage you to use any resources available to…


SOME STUDENTS/QUINCY/PORTIA
Read all about it!

SOME STUDENTS/VINCENT/BEATRIX
No one else needs to know

SOME STUDENTS/QUINCY/PORTIA
Read all about it!

SOME STUDENTS/VINCENT/BEATRIX
No one else needs to know

SOME STUDENTS/QUINCY/PORTIA
Read all about it!

ALL
And the rumors just grow
 
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