Benji Kaine - Moment of Silence

Bitch i shoulda blew my brains out and painted every wall in ya house
From the ceiling to the wall to the dog to the couch
I developed a habit for drugs and hard liquor
I shoulda never let my heart get involved witcha
I been gettin high tryna ease my pain
Outside in the cold i was sleeping in the rain
Im so far out of range, you don't know har far i came
I think im addicted to it, all i know about is pain
I know your mad at me cuz i was up again all night
Just incase you haven't noticed, i ain't been alright
My dark past kinda dimmed my light
My mother passed away at birth and no my father wasn't in my life
As you know i have a drug addiction
I admit the last couple years have been a struggle tryna get off ice
Im a slight bit misguided and possibly toxic
Don't be surprised at what you find inside my closet

I need a moment of silence, i think a part of me's dying
Im so sick and tired of trying, im tired of surviving
My mind in a dark place
I suffer from all this depression, pain, sadness and heartbreak

Im usually never wrong the road i been on been lonely
I can't fuck with too many people cuz most of em foney
Most of em wronged me, i got family who disowned me
I been questioning my relationship i don't know if she want me
And misery loves company
Im tryna figure out what not is that they want from me
Look at what the jungles done to me
The struggles humbled me
Its helped me see what was in front of me
They was poking fun at me, making jokes, making fun of me
Cuz i wanted to rap and i wasn't black
I guess its cuz i was white and i wanted sag
I ain't give a fuck about life but i knew i wanted to rap
I taught myself how to write because i ain't wanna be whack
Eventually i was gonna adapt
I ain't gon lie i thought for sure it was gonna collapse
I couldn't believe it at first
I ain't believe it would work
I was the person who believed in me first
Why the fuck i keep on lying to myself
I been sabotaging myself
Now i think im crying out for help
Why the fuck i can't go talk to god by myself

Let me get a moment of silence (moment of silence)
Im tired of closing my eyelids (tired of closing my eyelids)
Just to see darkness im tired of thinking ion know where my mind is

Man fuck life
Ion know where my mind went
Ima lose my fucking mind in this bitch

Ion know where the time went
My soul gone i don't know where the fuck ima find it