White Hassle - The Great Ship Adventure

White Hassle doing "The Great Ship Adventure" on the 23rd of January, 1970... uh, '97
One, two

Lying around in my den
Was me, my friend Jim, and Sophia Loren
We got on a ship that was sailing east
Heading out for Miami Beach
The captain of the ship, though, was cruel
And he willed his ship with a heavy rule
His rough was rough and strangely hoarse
And he gave out orders with great force
His teeth were white; his eyes, they glared
And he would spit tobacco in the air

Well, finally, we landed at that bеach
The place we thought wе'd never reach
We started for the gangplank stair
When a voice from behind said "you ain't going nowhere"

It was our captain, his legs spread apart
And his snakelike voice which gave us a start
"We're not stopping here", he said with a smile
"We're shipping out a couple of miles
So write your letters and say your prayers
'Cause we won't be back for a couple of years"
These were the words our captain spoke
And we knew for sure it was no joke
He looked at me and back again
At me, my friend Jim, and Sophia Loren
You can bet we were scared upon those decks
There were chills running up and down our necks
Jim was afraid that we would die
And a tear appeared in Sophia's eye
Then our captain, he went down into his quarters
And we were left up on deck to talk it over
"What do you reckon?" says Jim to me
And Sophia wiped a tear on her sleeve
I said to them "I've got a plan
We need to stop this desperate man
We can't take any more of this
Before you know it, we'll be slitting our wrists
No, I've got a plan, an idea, a scheme
We'll work at night so we can't be seen
When everyone's asleep, we'll build a raft
And we'll lower it down from the starboard half
We'll set afloat for the land
And we'll get away just like we planned"
Then Sophia said "you're right"
And we agreed that very night
Yes, soon our nightmare would come to an end
Thought me, my friend Jim, and Sophia Loren

So we lowered the raft that very night
Into the waters by the silvery moonlight
Sophia first, then me, then Jim
We waited until all of us were in
Then with a heave and a ho and a shove
We fled for land, the land we loved
Well, presently we heard a great racket
It was the ship's crew and the captain who was on it
There were lights and shouts and quite a big fuss
All on account, most likely, of us
But we strove on fast, as fast as we could
We were gonna lose our lives, but we were not in the mood
But I chuckled to myself as we rode that raft
Jim looked at me and he said "why do you laugh?"
"Well", I said, "little do they know
But with the blunt end of my oar I made a small hole
In the side of their ship as we were leaving
And now we're getting away and they're sinking"

Needless to say, the future looked good then
For me, my friend Jim, and Sophia Loren

Woo-hoo!

Woo! Woo!