Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Your Day In Court

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The royal court of Astor! An engagement's just begun
A celebration is in order, with a spot for everyone
Every man has his duties; every servant his place
Every lady her suitors, her pearls, and her lace
Our lives are perfect, charmed and perfumed
Our fullest attention always consumed
By pleasing Old Astor, our scrupulous king
We swear to the crown with our lips to his ring
We live by the church and we follow its rules
No magеs; no witchcraft; no magic in schools
You all want to be us, it’s only your right
So spend a day in our court
Just for tonight
But keep a smile on your facе and a fan in your hand
If you plan to remain here, you must understand:

What you see is a careful charade
Every movement a choice to be made
Strained smiles and innocent eyes
All expecting a chance to dissect your disguise
Proper manners are always evolving
As if anyone knew them all
You won't know if you've made a mistake, here, ’til you're the only one kept from the ball!
Did you see the way he bowed?
His new garters are too loud
Did you see the way they laughed?
Did I make a stupid gaffe?
So keep your back straight and your attitude keen
There's no choice here but to see or be seen act well in the role that you choose
Your mess-up will be yesterday's news

Wit is the word and authenticity blasé
Love is a card you'll unquestionably play
Spread the gossip and scandal with an air of command, you'll learn to love your day in court!
When the things you do aren't of much import
Hunting new secrets is our favorite sport
Rose-scented letters with twice-broken seals
Kisses in curtains and underground deals
Though you're living in comfort and splendor
There isn’t time to stop and stare
Mind your own business and everyone else’s
If you don't, we’re all aware!
Watch the way she flicks her fan
She must like another man
Watch the way he holds her waist
I think I'd be more to his taste
The king's stressed
The king's always stressed
Prince Rowan didn’t come to make some immature protest

Rowan?
I heard he's the prodigal son
I heard he's in the basement getting busy with a nun!
Ooh!

Talk is the word and intrigue is the way
If we kept to ourselves, we'd have nothing to say
Learn the gossip and scandal with an air of command, you'll learn to love your day in court!

I heard Rowan isn't here because he drank himself to death
I bet the king would like that
I heard he loved it when he left
I heard the prince will catch a lashing if he shows up late again
I heard he wouldn't mind a whipping every now and then
I heard if someone breaks his heart they're made a duke like that
I heard you'd go much further if you stabbed the little brat
I heard someone tried to get him with a poisoned pot of tea
I heard this from a friend, but really, couldn't that be me?
The king is known to murder errant subjects
Keep your ear pressed to the grapevine so you aren't next!
Lose your head or be banished for life
You're a target for every subordinate's knife
No such thing as an unblemished reputation it's just about how well you lie
But if you're caught without your preparation the consequences could be far too high!

Watch the way he holds his spoon
White knuckles spell your certain doom
Watch the way he turns his head
One royal frown and you're all dead

So let's all go to an opera, a joust or a fight
And lock every door before sleeping at night!
You can never believe every secret you hear
But if you don't watch out, you may just disappear
So let's all go to an opera, a joust or a fight
(Jason/Maya: Watch the way he holds his spoon
White knuckles spell your certain doom)
And lock every door before sleeping at night!
(watch the way he turns his head one royal frown and you're all dead)
You can never believe every secret you hear
(Jason/Maya: Watch the way he holds his spoon
White knuckles spell your certain doom)
But if you don't watch out (watch the way he turns his head)
You may just disappear

Fear is the word and desperation the way
Courtly gossip's a game you can't choose not to play
Keep your cards to your chest and your ear to the ground
Hope your vices stay lost and your virtues stay found
There's power and riches for those who can wait
Fight for every advantage you'll manipulate
If the king's not annoyed, maybe you can avoid
Your day in court!
If your status is high, maybe you can defy your day in court!
And if you can't perform
Just keep close to the norm
Get out if you can!
They all have a plan
If you don't want to see how relentless we'll be
On your day in court!
Your day in court!
Your day in court!

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Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak

Elliot Valentine Lee and Mel Hornyak (known together as Melliot) are a queer musical writing duo.