★ Verse Intro ★ STUDENT 1 (Roswell) Hey kid, you're new around here So its okay if you don't know how this school runs
STUDENTS 1+2 (Roswell, Drew) But the shit that they tell you In orientation Is nothing more than lesson number one
STUDENT 3 (Preston) Hey kid, no need to worry I can let you in on what it's all about ALL STUDENTS There’s a couple more things On the down-down-low You should know before you have to figure out
★ Chorus ★ STUDENT 4 (Adrian) A word to the wise Don’t you dare make a fuss Asking for help shows you’re not one of us
STUDENT 1 A word to the wise Don’t act like you’ve made it Failure will find you- admissions delayed it!
ALL STUDENTS Just ‘cause you made it in Doesn’t mean that you’re done A word to the wise: You’ve barely begun
★ Verse 1 ★ STUDENT 2 There’s lots of little places to get lost in STUDENT 1 There’s libraries that sprawl beneath your feet
STUDENTS 3 & 4 (Preston & Adrian) Rooftops that nobody frequents Where secret societies meet
STUDENTS 1 & 5 (Roswell & Lucia) There’s ivy-wreathed arches and ivory towers Sun-drenched verandas to study for hours
STUDENTS 2, 6, & 7 (Drew, Bertha, Christian) But don't share what you find Hidden in tomes on the shelf
ALL STUDENTS A word to the wise: It's every man for himself
★ Verse 2 ★ ALL STUDENTS (plus AMBROSE, BEATRIX and QUINCY) We're too advanced for second chances There's a standard to maintain Every hall and dormitory Bearing some great philosopher's name So why should anybody here be impressed? Who the hell are you to compete with the best? You better figure it out And figure it fast ‘cause, word to the wise Filthy slackers don't last! ★ Chorus ★ AMBROSE A word to the wise The sons of lawyers and kings
AMBROSE,ROSWELL, and BEATRIX Are taking your classes and appraising your rings
ALL STUDENTS (Exc. QUINCY and VINCENT) A word to the wise You better know your place Or dorm room doors will get slammed in your face So if you’re not upper crust Or you’re a hair out of touch A word to the wise: Don’t stand out too much
★ Verse 3 ★ ALL STUDENTS (Exc. QUINCY AND VINCENT) Just try to blend in, buy a three-button suit Don’t let on where it fits wrong Beatrix/ambrose/the marmorei Join a club and gain acceptance- If you’re not too exotic to belong! There’s been a hundred years of students like us And two or three of students like you Your ambitions might burn But tradition runs deep A word to the wise: Look before you leap!
★ Bridge ★ (THE ADMINISTRATION lines up facing the back of the stage, and BEATRIX recieves a press release from them, reading it to the students)
BEATRIX/THE ADMINISTRATION (spoken) The Phaethon Prize is a highly competitive award, given to a single senior in each graduating class
BEATRIX Honoring the memory of Arthur Phaethon, who, during his undergraduate years, took it upon himself to isolate the radioactive elements produced by the decay of pitchblende. While the project claimed his life just shy of his graduation, today the phaethon prize is awarded to undergraduates who display similar tenacity, independence, and intellectual acuity, distinguishing them as the best that ardess university has to offer
BEATRIX/THE ADMINISTRATION The nominees for the phaethon prize for the current graduating class are: Quincy Cynthius Martin Vincent Aurelius Lin Ambrose Wellington Bassford
THE ADMINISTRATION Beatrix valeria campbell
(BEATRIX tears her name out of the press release. THE ADMINISTRATION continues to read off names from as they are gradually covered by the music: David Elizabeth Hawthorne, Drew Roderick Harrison, Bertha Ruth Geiser, etc)
★ Verse 4 ★ AMBROSE/QUINCY/VINCENT There’s a certain subset of exceptional With a bulletproof reputation Earn the right prizes, the school recognizes Your usefulness more with each commendation
AMBROSE/QUINCY/VINCENT/BEATRIX So if you get the chance in your senior year Why not give it everything you’ve got? Why not whitewash your flaws With a Phaethon shine? A word to the wise: (to PORTIA) Your life’s on the line!
★ Pre-Chorus ★ AMBROSE/QUINCY/VINCENT/BEATRIX I'll let you in on a secret, kid Don't let this place eat you like me
AMBROSE Just try to fit in, learn to bear it and grin Be the paragon it needs you to be
★ Chorus ★ QUINCY A word to the wise Never let yourself rest They can try to despise you, but not your success!
VINCENT/QUINCY A word to the wise
VINCENT It’s no use getting through When everyone else expects nothing from you
VINCENT/QUINCY/BEATRIX A word to the wise
BEATRIX Just be patient and wait They'll have to give in once you do something great
★ Bridge 2 ★ VINCENT/QUINCY/BEATRIX/PORTIA Don’t crack up, don’t break it You’re not great, so fake it Don’t falter, or show fear Act like you belong here
ALL STUDENTS Don’t crack up, don’t break it You’re not great, so fake it Don’t falter, or show fear Act like you belong here
VINCENT/QUINCY/BEATRIX/PORTIA (overlapping) Don’t crack up, don’t break it You’re not great, so fake it Don’t falter, or show fear Act like you belong here
★ Outro ★ ALL STUDENTS If you don’t look the part or can’t keep your thoughts straight Better prove yourself soon, or head back through that gate! A word to the wise:
Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Perfect at School {verse} Quincy Each excellent grade that i manage to earn (and i earn them with some regularity) Can turn a bad day into one i would save And keep tight in my mind
Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - I Love You, I Swear Ambrose Why can’t i love you, or hate you Or any feeling in between? Just plug me in and turn me on I’ll be a good machine I can love you like i need you I can fuck you
Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Me, Myself, and I Quincy Suppose there’s something else, here A dangerous design A way to rectify the balance When you cross another line Suppose you’ve hurt your boyfriend And
Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Student Body VINCENT Was it something in the bacterium That turned toxic once it died? The answer lay in pneumococcus A pathogen they scrutinized It produced a substance not after