Monty Harper - Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

It was very late one halloween night
After all the trick-or-treaters were sound asleep
I thought i heard a knock on my front door
So i snuggled down deeper into my sheets
The knock kept knocking, louder and louder
Finally it knocked me wide awake
I tumbled downstairs to see what was the matter
Yelled, "what do you want, for goodness sake?" and heard

"trick or treat, smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
If you don't, i won't be sad
I'll just make you wish you had!"

It was a tiny old troll with a long white beard
A pointy red hat, and a crooked grin
I said, "listen kid, that's a really cute costume
But i ran out of candy at half-past ten."
I slammed the door and i locked all the latches
Took two aspirin for my aching head
Went back upstairs and was startled to discover
That rude little troll sitting on my bed! he said
"trick or treat, smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
If you don't, i won't be sad
I'll just make you wish you had!"

I decided to find out who was in the costume
I pinned him down and yanked his beard
The troll cried "ouch!" and ran into a corner
He hopped three times and disappeared
I woke the next morning happily believing
That the funny little troll was only a dream
I turned on the tv, and guess who i saw singing
In his pointy red hat on channel three? he sang

"trick or treat, smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
If you don't, i won't be sad
I'll just make you wish you had!"

I flipped around through all the different channels
Every single one was troll tv
I pulled the plug, but that was only the beginning
All week long the troll pestered me
He kept popping up in the least likely places
Twenty three times i chased him away
His crooked little grin was driving me crazy
By now you know all he had to say was
"trick or treat, smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
If you don't, i won't be sad
I'll just make you wish you had!"

Finally i did the only thing that i could think of
I bought a half-pound bag of sweets
That day the troll was hiding in my bathtub
When i found him and gave him his trick-or-treat
He tucked the candy underneath his hat
Then he hopped three times and disappeared
And though he never did come back
I still dream about the troll with the long white beard!

"trick or treat, smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
If you don't, i won't be sad
I'll just make you wish you had!"