ETCH (Rap) - I Hope You Hear This

Never felt this nauseous in my life you piece of sh-
You're hiding from your sins cause you're too weak to just admit
Had to cover up, still fuck him up if what you wish
She got what she deserved, that ain't make up for what he did

Loved you more, now like you less, don't make it easy to forget
Everytime i held you close is now replaced with my regret
I put aside my pride to stop the knives you couldn't catch
But you never spared that kindness to mе is this what i get?

Maybe you could have been savеd
'fore you laid in your grave and then everything caved
What's the- what's the point in screaming please stay
If i'm out of your brain in a matter of days?

Never choke up on the words i need to say
But i can't even fathom why you wanted me to ache
Had all this respect for you, you threw it all away
Didn't expect a single person but the total was insane

Fuck, i don't wanna see those bruises on your neck, what a sin
I feel nauseous what an ugly way to fess through every fib
Wanted love, she got undressed and lost her worth for a prick
I can't love you, though i wanna and it hurt so

If you ever pull that shit again you're ending up dead
I would wreak your fucking life until you took your own head
I would dig up all the memories that you try to repress
Anything i could until you felt what's in my chest
I bite my tongue, it bleed discrete, it's sorta sweet across my teeth
I was up, could give no fucks until my circle x delete
Scrape the bottom of the bowl and still get left that's quite a scene
Thought you might be honorable but things are never as they seem

I'd rather just scream at you 'cause i know there's no reply
And there's nothing you could say to even try and change my mind
So i hate you more than anything, i need you out my life
It will fade away by day by day but stuck in back of mind

I need to cut your face from out the place i find my sympathy
No honest mistakes, you'll never change and what's the casualty?
All it fucking takes is just a little pinch of dignity
It's not a debate that you're both bound to repeat history

I had no idea you could ever be that toxic
But you never understood me, doubt that you'll ever accomplish
You are not a god, i could easily demolish
So don't stare me in the face and say that your actions were modest

I'm only trynna make sense of the lies you tried to hide
But why'd you pick the only path i suffer for your high?
Told you to be careful, you can't trust many these guys
It's ironic when he told me, part still fighting for your life

The emptiness was nothing next to hoping you're alone
Cause i thought you might be out and knowing you you'll take 'em home
But you really got that desperate to burn what let erode?
Despite everything i did to keep you safe from those like logan
That's so disappointing
Could have been avoided
You let me stir inside my head for months until you poisoned
Isn't this amusing?
What's he gonna do?
Surrender all my pity they're not worth it so your through

Didn't i fucking tell you 'bout what happened then before?
Had a brother tell me nothing but he turned into a whore
Much ain't personal to me but why'd you pick the only door?
When i said there was a lock to block the thoughts i can't control

Adrenaline is kicking in
My body says to get to him
She really fucking kissing him
My body can't stop flickering
A form of hate that permeates
Was this part of the plan?
I'd feel sorry if i bodied this excuse to call a man

I'm sorry you got tossed aside to rot and lie, you want it right?
Tell me was it worth it, did you find that you were satisfied?
There was no remorse inside your eyes it has me petrified
Does it not eat you alive? such a way i can't describe

You knew what you were doing were you hurting were you desperate?
I almost did myself but found a better way to cope with it
All i do is write about their wrongs and not get over it
I used to have some faith in you but now you're fucking hopeless
I've dealt with this before i was amused but not surprised
How you stare me in the face and coward truth behind your lies
Thought it might be fate that she would never realize
That you will never find fulfillment in these hollow fucking guys

Tell me how you resonate with anything i say
I can't say it to your face because i don't know what i would break
My heart, your jaw, your ribs, my fault
You thought that i would put you on?
You make me sick, you hurt the bitch i tried to save from harm

I wanna see you suffer i was sick a couple weeks
This was all before you had the gall to call what you can't speak
Those painted nails are toxic like the gossip that you bleed
You took away that piece of hope the only way to get to me

Every single one betrayed me don't say that i'm crazy
That you valued his mistakes as more important than my safety
I was torn apart before the start to how they tried to play me
At least now i'll never worry 'bout what happened to my baby

No apologies, don't care to see if i'm upset
She was the only fucking thing i didn't like up in my head
I tried to lay you down so gently start to second guess the friends
'cause in the past my only closure came in wishing she was dead

Damn it's been a minute since i felt that kind of rush
I felt it in my core before the words begin to flood
I knew you were a demon, didn't know you're out for blood
I can't shake the thought i wasted time on everything you bluffed

Dammit i wish that you just fucking told me
Promise it's as easy as it seems
Promised me you'd never make me bleed
Only in return i promised you that i would never

Scream out laughing that you got what you deserved
Cause it seem like you knew tob the extent that it would hurt
I'm all peaked out, nothing left to give with only words
Disrespected what it's worth, turned a blessing to a curse

Half me want her dead the other half want to support
I thought that i might love her, i can't stand another whore (fuck)
Bolder than before i need someone that's so much more
I won't fall into your spiral with a wardrobe on the floor

You can hide it can't deny that you're dishonest caught a liar
Placed down all the pieces just to light it all on fire
Slowly paint a picture way more vivid then required
Like why'd you have to pull the only nerve that's been on fire?

I could lay a hand but that ain't gonna fix a thing
Heylog taught me well, i feel disgust grinding my teeth
Hope you feel a pit inside that never seems to leave
Like the thought of moving on to find somebody i don't need

Never had to set a limit for the things i could convey
You barely fucking knew me despite everything i say
The closest that i've gotten, nowhere close to what i pray
You fucked up every gift, i never got to show the shame

Wish you kept that sweater that you knew was a mistake
Cause you knew that fuckboy was more your taste
But knowing you and what you'll do it's hardly on your brain
So you would wear it through the weather till the colors slowly fade

And once they saw it break
They ask how long it take
For me to forgive what you did
You'll always be a shame

I still can't explain
How i wanna bring you pain
How i'm out for my revenge
When i know that it's insane

Did you really want a war?
Cause i told you what's the stake
Even if i never kill you i would piss up on your grave
Never could i call you enemy not worthy of the name
But the shit that i've accomplished with that type of rage

I doubt your father could ever be proud
Now i see why your mother tracks you house to house
Must be working so hard to save you from yourself
'cause you'll do the most to get a d- up in your mouth

I hope i left a bitter taste that you still can't replace
Like the sea of disappointment you've been wiping off your face
I would rather be alone than to handle your charades
Thinking all of you just treat it like a mother fucking game

If you ever pull that shit again you're ending up dead
I would wreck your fucking life until you took your own head
I would dig up all the memories that you try to repress
Anything i could until you felt what's in my chest