K-Boyd - Dear Mom...

(intro)

Look
This tune is a message to my mom
She passed away too soon
I want her to hear this
So...
Mother...

(verse 1)

I had no words after i heard the news
I refuse to believe i lost you, mama
I never wanted that time to occur
I wished that it was a dream
But i'm extremely exhausted because
I never wanted to cry a lot in the inside
All i ever wanted is for both you and dad to be therе
To support me
But during our last phone call
I had thesе nasty thoughts
That it had to cost me to get therapy
But i screamed in anger hours after i heard the news
Sometimes i wanted to use a noose
But i will move on and
I hope you watch over me when i perform
And i hope you are transported up there safely
Our religious view is spiritual
You deserved your legacy to be loved
(verse 2)

The last time we saw each other physically was in 2016
And i didn't think our last hug was at the same time
Clinically, i became weak after that
I couldn't speak a lot during the train ride
I could show the sign that i'm depressed worse than last time
If i did say "i'm fine"
That means i'm not
It's been almost 5 weeks since i lost you
I knew you and dad didn't get along until the 2010s
But i still love both of you
I know things aren't going to be the same anymore
But i will make sure that i will take care of my dad
He is also glad that you saved his life before i was born
I know you aren't there for most of my life
But at least we got in touch over the phone

(interlude)

I will always remember our phone calls
I will also remember our memories and pictures
And i wish i had a time machine so i could warn you
I know mother's day won't be the same to me anymore
But when the time comes
I will see you in heaven
Mama
(verse 3)

I remember our last phone call which was back on march 22nd
On that part where i asked if you want to join us at metallica
But i never knew that was our last phone call
If i ever meet the band once
I'll ask them to say a few words about you in your honor
I'll never disappoint you
I wish this reality was false
But it's real
I feel emotionally distressed
It'll take me years to heal from mental and emotional pain
I'll deal with the pain after i take antidepressants
I will explain some things soon
Your voice may not be on the internet
But this is in honor of you
Again, this shit feels unreal to us
Sometimes i feel like it's my fault but it's not

(verse 4)

I remember the first phone call which was in 2015
When i was grounded on the month of october of that same year
I still want you to be here
But i know you'll be near me spiritually
Let's be clear
My main fear is suicidal thoughts, losing family and friends
Again, me and my dad is still refusing that we lost you
I'll never count how many tears we've shed
We'll be moving on soon after we finally accept it
Like i said
I'll make sure to take your advice
I want to be at home
Tucked into bed at least one more time
But instead
I will say these last things in the outro for you mama
Here we go
(outro)

I will miss you, mom
I will love you, mom
I will never forget you, mom
Fly safe in heaven
Mama