Elliot Valentine Lee, Mel Hornyak - Me, Myself, and I

Quincy
Suppose there’s something else, here
A dangerous design
A way to rectify the balance
When you cross another line

Suppose you’ve hurt your boyfriend
And pride’s your greatest sin
Suppose you can’t remember
Where he ends and you begin

Quincy/saints
Your words are too hasty
Your self-control poor
You’ve hurt many people
You’ll always hurt more
You need some way to fix it
Not prevaricate
But find and banish sin
Before it’s too latе

Saints
Too late! too late!

Quincy
Therе are only three people with the genius to try:
Me, myself, and i
★ lights come up on vincent, ambrose, and the marmorei in the gym. the marmorei have already been transformed into marble statues; ambrose is chiseling them. ★

Marmorei
(humming)

Vincent
(spoken)
Ambrose? what’s going on?

Ambrose
(spoken)
I thought i told you to leave me alone

Vincent
(spoken)
What did you do to them? are they dead?

Ambrose
Suppose that ancient athletes
Had a way to alter bone
Suppose they wrote past muscle
There’s a hardness just like stone

Suppose it lets you carve yourself
Into what you want to be
They all pushed beyond their limits
And surpassed anatomy
Vincent
(spoken)
Bassford, they can’t move. how are you going to explain this to the rest of the school?

Ambrose
(spoken)
You can explain it if you like. i’m never going to be leaving this room

Vincent
Ambrose, hey, just- iust put down the chisel and come with me. what are … what else is there to make perfect?

Ambrose
I didn’t think you’d understand
You’ve never been this close
It’s just a bit more off the ankles
Or a little off the nose
So my parents and my girlfriend
My closest friends and you
Will know i deserve their love
Once there’s no more work to do
There are only three people who’ll be perfect in their eyes
Me, myself, and i
Vincent
Suppose you’re fucking arrogant
Of course i understand
But love isn’t conditional
It comes with no demands
Suppose you see this thing through
Trap yourself inside a stone
You can have the perfect body
Perfect, dead and alone
Just make a body you can live with
And live in it
Find someone you’re in love with
Give in to it

I don’t need to be perfect
As long as i’m theirs
When somebody loves you
Then nobody cares

Ambrose
Pain is weakness leaving the body
Pain rewires each indigent nerve
Pain keeps you sane, morals straight, senses sharper
Pain is the love you don’t have to deserve

Vincent
(overlapping)
Because that's how it starts
In snippets and rivulets
And a growing, glowing feeling
That you can't puzzle out just yet
Every gesture a message
Every secret a sign
Your future's elided
Fused with theirs in one line

Vincent
So i’m sorry you’re lonely
But this torment will pass
And you’ll never feel better
(trying to wrest the weapon away from him)
If you- fucking die- you stupid ass!

(they fight. lights up on beatrix and portia.)

Portia
(spoken)
So are we formatting the follow-up interviews the same way as the first round? or are we cutting your introductions?
(beatrix does not respond)
Hello? earth to beatrix?

Beatrix
(spoken)
Oh! sorry. uh, i think… i think the first one is good

Beatrix
Suppose i made an error
Not so easily reversed
Lin’s never followed through
But maybe this time is the first

Suppose he kills someone
Or dies in an awful fight
And i could have stopped it
Would i sleep through the night?

You could always end this
Before you lose control
My grandma would tell me
I’ll lose half my soul
But i’m not quite to blame here
That all falls on lin
And without that advantage
There’s no chance i’d win
There are only three people to justify why:
Me, myself, and i

All
Research means you’re all alone
Hoping that nobody calls your bluff
Stay original, stay true to yourself
But will what you are be good enough?

The only limits you can know are your own
So why not push them a bit more?
Everyone here is an enemy near to
Earning the thing you’ve been yearning for

Quincy/beatrix/ambrose
There are only three people on whom you can rely:

Quincy
Me

Ambrose
Myself

Beatrix
And i

(lights cut back to vincent and ambrose)


Ambrose
(spoken)
Vincent, i-i can’t go back, or undo this, or fix it. help me get out of this. a favor for an old friend

Vincent
A token of my friendship
(draws the scalpel across ambrose’s throat)
Bye, ambrose

(vincent replaces where ambrose was standing onstage)

All (exc. ambrose)
Me, myself, and i!

Elliot Valentine Lee and Mel Hornyak (known together as Melliot) are a queer musical writing duo.