Epic Rap Batles of History - Brian Griffin vs Bandit Heeler

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intro: the announcer
Epic rap batles of history!
Brian griffin
Vs
Bandit heeler
Begin!

verse 1: brian griffin
My name is brian griffin. i’m a leftist author
I have a famous son, you have some autistic daughters
I gave chilli my dog and you can say now i’m her hubby
Why did you put your “sticky gecko” into wendy’s “cubby”?
I might be a “family guy” but i gotta know
Why did they put adult references inside of a kids show?
Like death, miscarriage and infertility
Adhd, french people and ptsd
You fatty, quit eating weiners or it’ll be your end
Are there snakes in the outback? call me a diamondback, friend
Calm down, you skippy poofter, you’re getting too pissed
You’re only an archeologist if you takе out the logist

verse 2: bandit heeler and bluey
Bluey, get mе a fackin’ pack of stubbies
My kids watch you on shorts while they’re sitting on the dunny
You always tryna pipe some white chicks but you be
Getting mad cause your balls get (da-da-da-da-da-da-da, bluey!)
When they ran your ass over i thought it was crass
Then i filmed myself throwing your dvds in the trash
You ripped off “the simpsons” god damn, that’s criminal
You shouldn’t be mad because i’m the aboriginal
I’m from the land down under you’re butthurt you see
I’ll neuter your balls so you can’t play “keepy uppy”
I met with lois griffin. that bitch was trippin’
She “chattermax’d” my “floppy bunny” ‘till i busted in ‘em
Life of brian? more like a mid-life brian
You’re an icon in ruin, you’re better off joining isis
You had sex with quagmire’s dad are you homo
Now bugger off you drongo i’m on fackin’ smoko
verse 3: brian griffin
While you were busy rapping i went and plowed your nanna
Your show is even worse than bananas in pyjamas
So before you come to battle with an actual intellectual
Bandit heeler, you’re just a pussy whose brothers are homosexual

verse 4: bandit heeler
Oh will you shut the fuck up, you leftist cunt
At least i didn’t tell a guy about penises i sucked
Drinking pawtucket beer and martinis
Ditch that fackin’ shit and pick up some fackin’ vbs

verse 5: brian griffin
You’re a retarded banana bender, no class to be found
We should call herbert the pervert with all those children around
You called your daughter ***, what are you, a racist?
That dance mode bluey album wasn’t in my playlist
Give me some “space” you “sheepdog”, your family’s a bunch of “fairies”
Call me “unicorse”, buddy. because why should i caresies?
I’ll go on a “curry quest” so i can “bbq” your fanny
When i see you i vomit harder than when i see grannies

verse 6: bandit heeler and bluey
When i see my wife chilli i get a pretty big boner
Everyone knows you’re just seth macfarlane’s fursona
Stupid cunt dog. sit, roll over, shake and beg
My kids are a handful but at least they aren’t meg
This is the end for you griffins, you shouldn’t have made me do this
Remember not to mess with chilli, bingo, bandit and bluey
verse 7: bandit heeler, brian griffin, and the announcer
Why are we fighting anyways? there’s no reason
Can we both stop it, i mean, we’re both decent
I don’t know why either, i mean, it makes me sad
Like, let’s be honest, we’re both hot cartoon dads
I mean, you have a good series, uhh, you do too
I guess no other dad will be hotter than you
So can we be friends? there’s no way to deny
Coming soon, a crossover between bluey and family guy

outro: the announcer
Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide
Epic rap batles of history

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Epic Rap Batles of History

Epic Rap Batles of History is a web series created by Mr. Jay (formerly known as JMBRaps). It is a satirical play on the rap battle genre, as evident by its not-so-creative name.
The original series ran from 2018-2019, before being rebooted in 2023.