Saturday Night Live - Salad

(Song)

★ NADINE ★
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!
My family's on the sleep
So I won't make a peep
I'll cook all night my most delicious recipe
I still have quite a surprise
In the morning when they rise
They'll take a big bite of my overnight salad

It's not easy to make
Lots of ingredients it takes
But it's worth it to serve my overnight salad
Take a little bit o' lettuce
Sprinkle in some cheese
A little scoche of lemon
And a gallon of mayo
So many raisins
An insane amount o' pepper
Now you're makin' a salad
54 hot dogs
Look who's back, it's mayo
Don't skimp on the Fritos and root beer
The croutons are cookies
The pizza top, of course
Then I let it sit all night on the radiator
In the morning when they rise
My daughters' eyes fill with pride
When they take a big bite of my overnight salad
The ultimate prize
My husband, king of the guys
When he chomps into a slice of my overnight salad
It's all over their face
My family loves the taste

(Spoken)

★ NADINE'S HUSBAND ★
Oh my God, Nadine, this tastes like s---! What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were gonna make a salad!

★ NADINE ★
It's my overnight salad

★ NADINE'S HUSBAND ★
Mayonnaise and lettuce left out all night? You need help, Nadine!

★ NADINE'S DAUGHTER ★
Mommy, Baxter's not moving

★ NADINE ★
I gave him a bite of my overnight salad

★ NADINE'S HUSBAND ★
Are you happy, Nadine. You killed the f----- dog! Are you stupid? Your brain is sick!

★ NADINE ★
Maybe it just needs a big scoop of mayo

★ NADINE'S HUSBAND ★
There's a quarter in my salad! Why?

(Song)

★ NADINE ★
Well, the quarter is the thing

(Spoken)

★ NADINE'S HUSBAND ★
Nadine, Nadine, no, no, no. Just stop! Come on, girls. Let's go

★ NADINE ★
Well, I guess I'm gonna have to eat this whole thing myself. Doo dee doo dee doo overnight salad