John Lithgow - The Runaway Pancake

This is a story that has a song in sight
And here’s a story about aunt may
Who wants to make a delicious pancake herself for lunch one day
She decided to take out all the ingredients she needed to make a pancake
She took out the flour, milk, butter, salt and sugar
She whipped them all up in a basin
She poured the batter into a hot, greasy skillet
She turned it over twice with a spatula and it was golden brown
And aunt may made a terrible mistake

She decided she wasn’t quite so hungry yet
So she put it in the oven to warm it up for an hour or two
But you’ll never ever do that with a pancake
And this is the story of…
Why, you don’t know

She ran into her living room and started working on her chores
She mopped, she dusted, she swept, vacuumed, and polished
But when she did, she heard a sound coming from the oven
And it sounded quite muffled like this
“hey! hey, what’s going on in here? come on, let me out of here!”

And she ran back to the kitchen to where the sound was coming from
And she opened up the oven door, this much wide, and…boom!
Out came the runaway pancake!
He had two naughty eyes and a mischievous grin
And he wore a very naughty expression, like this!
So he rolled across the kitchen floor, across the living room floor, out the front door, across the front yard, and down the country lane
And auntie may was chasing after him, shouting
“come back! come back! come back! you are my lunch!”
And this is a song that the pancake started to sing:

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may chasing after him
And pretty soon they met up with an old dog named tray
He was lying on the road, chewing on his bone
So old dog tray took a look at the pancake and he said
“pancakes go good with bones. you’re going to be my lunch!”
And what did the pancake say?

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may and old dog tray chasing after him
And pretty soon they came to a cow
She was standing in the tall grass in the hayfield, grazing on her cud
So the cow took a look at the pancake and she said
“mooooooo. pancakes go good with cud. you’re going to be my lunch!”
And what did the pancake say?
“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may, old dog tray, and now the cow chasing after him
And pretty soon, they came to an old, grey donkey
He was standing in the green-growing grassy fields
So the donkey brayed really loud and he took a look at the pancake and he said
“hee-haw! hee-haw! hee-haw! pancakes go good with grass. you’re going to be my lunch!”
And what did the pancake say?

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may, old dog tray, the cow, and now the donkey chasing after him
And pretty soon, they came to a big old grey wolf
The big old grey wolf took a look at the pancake and he was licking the chops!
And he said
“pancakes go good with chops. you’re going to be my lunch!”
And what did the pancake say?
“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ve got away from the donkey’s bray
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may, old dog tray, the cow, the donkey, and now the wolf chasing after him
And pretty soon, they came to a big old brown bear
He was standing near a honey beehive, licking the honey off his paws
So the bear took a look at the pancake and he said
“mmmmm. pancakes go good with honey.”
And you know he was right
“you’re going to be my lunch!”
But you know he was wrong, because what did the pancake say?

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ve got away from the donkey’s bray
I’ve got away from the wolf all grey
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And he rolled along, and he rolled along
With auntie may, old dog tray, the cow, the donkey, the wolf, and the bear chasing after him
And pretty soon, they came to a hill
A very steep hill
And he rolled along, and he rolled along
And he started to roll up the hill
And pretty soon, they came to a big oak tree standing at the side of the road
Lying in the shade of the big oak tree, just taking it easy this afternoon
Was a sly…old…red…fox

The fox took one big look at the pancake
And the pancake eyeballed the fox
And the fox said
“you're going to be my lunch.”
And what do you think the pancake said?

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ve got away from the donkey’s bray
I’ve got away from the wolf all grey
Even got away from the bear today
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

And the fox said
“oh, i beg your pardon
As you may know, foxes are a trifle hard of hearing
Now, perhaps if you come closer and sing it a little louder
Then maybe, just maybe
I might understand your words.”

So the pancake rolled to where he was only three feet away from that fox’s nose
And a little louder he sang:

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow!
Run, run as fast as you can!
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ve got away from the donkey’s bray
I’ve got away from the wolf all grey
Even got away from the bear today
I’ll get away from you, i can!”

Then the fox said
“sorry. pancake, darling. i still can’t hear you
If you roll a little closer and sing it a little louder
Then maybe, just maybe
I might better comprehend your meaning.”

So, the pancake rolled to where he was only one foot away from that fox’s nose
And a little louder he sang:

“no, no! no, no, no!
I’m too fast and you’re too slow…”

“no, no, no, no, no! i’m sorry!" said the fox. "pancake, dear! i still can’t hear you!
You'll have to roll a little closer and sing it a little louder
Then maybe i can!"

So, the pancake rolled to where he was only six inches away from that fox’s nose
And then a little louder he sang:

“no, no!...”

“i’m so sorry, pancake, darling! i'm afraid i still can’t hear you!" yelled the fox
"you have a roll a little closer and sing it a little louder!
Then maybe i'll just have to!”

So...the pancake rolled to where he was only one inch away from that fox’s nose!
And as loud as he could he sang:

“no, no! no, no, no!...”

“ghhhhaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!”
The fox ate the pancake with one enormous gulp!

And you think that was the end of the story, wouldn’t you?
Well, it isn’t
Because the fox looked up
And what do you think he saw?

Auntie may, old dog tray, the cow, the donkey, the wolf, and the bear
They were panting and sweating and hot and angry
They were so mad at the fox for eating their lunch that they chased him out of the forest where they were never seen or heard from him again
And you think that was the end of the story, wouldn’t you?
No, it isn’t

Because if you listen carefully to that fox's tummy
You can still hear that pancake singing
Because you remember the fox had swallowed him whole
But now it was a different song
A little slower, a little sadder, not quite so arrogant
This is what it sounded like now:

“dear, oh, dear. dear, oh, dear
I am eaten up, i fear
I ran and i ran as fast as i could be
I’ve got away from auntie may
I’ve got away from old dog tray
I’ve got away from the cow in the hay
I’ve got away from the donkey’s bray
I’ve got away from the wolf all grey
Even got away from the bear today
But that sly old fox… it’s the end of me.”

And you think that was the end of the story, wouldn’t you?
Well, it is!